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OS/2 REXX Batch file  |  1995-12-28  |  7KB  |  364 lines
  1. /* JobTitle.Rexx V1.2 -- A Job title generator. (Needed at NewTek!)   */
  2. /* By Bob Caron (Grue) ©1995 NewTek Inc.                              */
  3. /* This script is dedicated to James Hebert and Marty Flickinger.     */
  4. /* Good luck to both of you!                                          */
  5.  
  6. call addlib('PROJECT_REXX_PORT' , 0)
  7.  
  8. call random(,,trunc((time('s'))*(randu(time('s')*100))))
  9.  
  10. pre.1="Chief"
  11. pre.2="Assistant"
  12. pre.3="Senior"
  13. pre.4="Executive"
  14. pre.5="Minor"
  15. pre.6="Insignificant"
  16. pre.7="Overbearing"
  17. pre.8="Junior"
  18. pre.9="Master"
  19. pre.10="Head"
  20. pre.11="Honorary"
  21. pre.12="The Late"
  22. pre.13="Dishonorable"
  23. pre.14="Inflated"
  24. pre.15="Misguided"
  25. pre.16="Middle"
  26. pre.17="Lord"
  27. pre.18="Number One"
  28. pre.19="Lethal"
  29. pre.19="Deadly"
  30. pre.20="Raving"
  31. pre.21="Foolish"
  32. pre.22="Prime"
  33. pre.23="Master"
  34. pre.24="Pompous"
  35. pre.25="Boastful"
  36. pre.26="Self-Important"
  37. pre.27="Bombastic"
  38. pre.28="Grandiose"
  39. pre.29="Stilted"
  40. pre.30="Ill-Mannered"
  41. pre.31="Upper"
  42. pre.32="Lower"
  43. pre.33="Superior"
  44. pre.34="Lesser"
  45. pre.35="Greater"
  46. pre.36="Freelance"
  47. pre.37=""
  48. pre.38=""
  49. pre.39=""
  50. pre.40=""
  51. pre.41=""
  52. pre.42=""
  53. pre.43=""
  54. pre.44=""
  55. pre.45=""
  56. pre.46=""
  57. pre.47=""
  58. pre.48=""
  59. pre.49=""
  60. pre.50=""
  61. pre.51=""
  62. pre.52=""
  63. pre.53=""
  64. pre.54=""
  65. pre.55=""
  66. pre.56=""
  67. pre.57=""
  68. pre.58=""
  69. pre.59=""
  70. pre.60=""
  71. pre.61=""
  72. pre.62=""
  73. pre.63=""
  74. pre.64=""
  75. pre.65=""
  76. pre.66=""
  77. pre.67=""
  78. pre.68=""
  79. pre.69=""
  80. pre.70=""
  81. pre.71=""
  82. pre.72=""
  83. pre.73="*"
  84.  
  85. title.1="Peon"
  86. title.2="Chairman"
  87. title.3="Chairman"
  88. title.4="Director"
  89. title.5="President"
  90. title.6="Vice President"
  91. title.7="Manager"
  92. title.8="Coordinator"
  93. title.9="Enos"
  94. title.10="King"
  95. title.11="Pope"
  96. title.12="Cardinal"
  97. title.13="Captain"
  98. title.14="General"
  99. title.15="Lieutenant"
  100. title.16="Colonel"
  101. title.17="Dictator"
  102. title.18="Wet Nurse"
  103. title.19="Court Jester"
  104. title.20="Fool"
  105. title.21="CEO"
  106. title.22="Adjutant"
  107. title.23="Assistant"
  108. title.24="Aide"
  109. title.25="Secretary"
  110. title.26="Underling"
  111. title.27="Dufus"
  112. title.28="Moron"
  113. title.29="Baroness"
  114. title.30="Baron"
  115. title.31="Dolt"
  116. title.32="Dunce"
  117. title.33="Buddy"
  118. title.34="Pal"
  119. title.35="Defendant"
  120. title.36="Duke"
  121. title.37="'The Man'"
  122. title.38="Representative"
  123. title.39="Ambassador"
  124. title.40="Counselor"
  125. title.41="Twit"
  126. title.42="Navigator"
  127. title.43="Freak"
  128. title.44="Dean"
  129. title.45="Ruler"
  130. title.46="Fuhrer"
  131. title.47="Minister"
  132. title.48="Despot"
  133. title.49="Prefect"
  134. title.50="Foreman"
  135. title.51="Magistrate"
  136. title.52="Honcho"
  137. title.53="Top Dog"
  138. title.54="Potentate"
  139. title.55="Czar"
  140. title.56="Pharaoh"
  141. title.57="Sultan"
  142. title.58="Pasha"
  143. title.59="Emir"
  144. title.60="Bishop"
  145. title.61="Rabbi"
  146. title.62="Skipper"
  147. title.63="Commandant"
  148. title.64="Chieftan"
  149. title.65="Bureaucrat"
  150. title.66="Git"
  151. title.67="Flunkie"
  152. title.68="Toady"
  153. title.69="Sycophant"
  154. title.70="Yes Man"
  155. title.71="Gantt Chart Wizard"
  156. title.72="Template Wizard"
  157. title.73="Answer Wizard"
  158. title.74="Shaman"
  159. title.75="Grip"
  160. title.76="Key Grip"
  161. title.77="Best Boy"
  162. title.78="Gaffer"
  163. title.79="Tweener"
  164. title.80="Director"
  165. title.81="Queen"
  166. title.82="*"
  167.  
  168. prep.1="in charge of"
  169. prep.2="of"
  170. prep.3="*"
  171.  
  172. dept.1="development"
  173. dept.2="beta testing"
  174. dept.3="marketing"
  175. dept.4="peons"
  176. dept.5="shipping"
  177. dept.6="product testing"
  178. dept.7="sales"
  179. dept.8="training"
  180. dept.9="customer service"
  181. dept.10="reception"
  182. dept.11="repair"
  183. dept.12="tech support"
  184. dept.13="documentation"
  185. dept.14="third party support"
  186. dept.15="coffee"
  187. dept.16="meetings"
  188. dept.17="accounting"
  189. dept.18="operations"
  190. dept.19="marketing operations"
  191. dept.20="scapegoats"
  192. dept.21="temps"
  193. dept.22="engineering"
  194. dept.23="development"
  195. dept.24="research"
  196. dept.25="production"
  197. dept.26="programming"
  198. dept.27="user therapy"
  199. dept.28="network games"
  200. dept.29="network administration"
  201. dept.30="phones"
  202. dept.31="phone sales"
  203. dept.32="vending machines"
  204. dept.33="product managment"
  205. dept.34="product mis-management"
  206. dept.35="communication"
  207. dept.36="mis-communication"
  208. dept.37="phone communication"
  209. dept.38="phone cleaning"
  210. dept.39="fridge cleaning"
  211. dept.40="assistants"
  212. dept.41="Babylon 5 (TM)"
  213. dept.42="lava lamps"
  214. dept.43="desks"
  215. dept.44="Godzilla (TM)"
  216. dept.45="The Squishy Machine"
  217. dept.46="Alcatraz"
  218. dept.47="hot drinks"
  219. dept.48="Hell"
  220. dept.49="Pez (TM)"
  221. dept.50="phone lists"
  222. dept.51="flow charts"
  223. dept.52="public QuickMail postings"
  224. dept.53="coverups"
  225. dept.53="denial"
  226. dept.54="brush-offs"
  227. dept.55="vacation scheduling"
  228. dept.56="boat meetings"
  229. dept.57="printer toner refills"
  230. dept.58="feelgood euphemisms"
  231. dept.59="evil! Pure and simple EVIL"
  232. dept.60="product design"
  233. dept.61="BBS Sysoping"
  234. dept.62="beta test program"
  235. dept.63="duh..."
  236. dept.64="consulting"
  237. dept.65="equipment acquisition"
  238. dept.66="studio parties"
  239. dept.67="monster bus rides"
  240. dept.68="Spam (TM)"
  241. dept.69="checking the weather channel"
  242. dept.70="reading the newspaper"
  243. dept.71="calling people buddy"
  244. dept.72="nude dancing"
  245. dept.73="understanding the product"
  246. dept.74="keeping this between you and me"
  247. dept.75="opening blinds"
  248. dept.76="speaker phone calls"
  249. dept.77="FTP hacking"
  250. dept.78="Quick Conference"
  251. dept.79="Elvis Impersonating"
  252. dept.80="CD-Rom burning"
  253. dept.81="arexx scripts"
  254. dept.82="toaster effects"
  255. dept.83="bugger all"
  256. dept.84="Here... have a bag of money"
  257. dept.85="Narf! Egad! Brilliant!!!"
  258. dept.86="propaganda"
  259. dept.87="media relations"
  260. dept.88="Technical writing"
  261. dept.89="Fashion directing"
  262. dept.90="Geat Underground Empire (TM)"
  263. dept.91="Dept of redunancy, Dept"
  264. dept.92="lunch"
  265. dept.93="photocopiers"
  266. dept.94="photocopier repair"
  267. dept.95="fax paper replacement"
  268. dept.96="techno babble"
  269. dept.97="incoherence"
  270. dept.98="ambiguity"
  271. dept.99="bureaucracy"
  272. dept.100="security"
  273. dept.101="insecurity"
  274. dept.102="area 51"
  275. dept.103="plugins"
  276. dept.104="Gantt Charts"
  277. dept.105="Gantt Bars"
  278. dept.106="task relationships"
  279. dept.107="milestones"
  280. dept.108="passing milestones"
  281. dept.109="task resources"
  282. dept.110="imposed dates"
  283. dept.111="interchangable resource units"
  284. dept.112="resource pools"
  285. dept.113="resource sheets"
  286. dept.114="resource tables"
  287. dept.115="resource units"
  288. dept.116="resource conflicts"
  289. dept.117="critical paths"
  290. dept.118="rolled up tasks"
  291. dept.119="baselines"
  292. dept.120="tasks"
  293. dept.121="slack time"
  294. dept.122="task tables"
  295. dept.123="task reports"
  296. dept.124="task views"
  297. dept.125="toolbars"
  298. dept.126="pert charts"
  299. dept.127="madness"
  300. dept.128="war"
  301. dept.129="animation"
  302. dept.130="tea"
  303. dept.131="last minute changes"
  304. dept.132="the Internet"
  305. dept.133="writing bugs"
  306. dept.134="programing"
  307. dept.135="leg shooting"
  308. dept.136="hold music"
  309. dept.137="the web page"
  310. dept.138="ego repair"
  311. dept.139="*"
  312.  
  313. prcount=0
  314. do until pre.prcount="*"
  315.   prcount=prcount+1
  316.   end
  317. prcount=prcount-1
  318.  
  319.  
  320. tcount=0
  321. do until title.tcount="*"
  322.   tcount=tcount+1
  323.   end
  324. tcount=tcount-1
  325.  
  326. pcount=0
  327. do until prep.pcount="*"
  328.   pcount=pcount+1
  329.   end
  330. pcount=pcount-1
  331.  
  332. dcount=0
  333. do until dept.dcount="*"
  334.   dcount=dcount+1
  335.   end
  336. dcount=dcount-1
  337.  
  338. done=1
  339. loop=1
  340. pt=""
  341. do until done=0
  342.    temp=random(1,prcount)
  343.    pt=pre.temp
  344.    do until loop>3
  345.     temp=random(1,prcount)
  346.     if pos(pre.temp,pt)=0 then
  347.        if (length(pre.temp)>1) then
  348.           pt=pt||" "||pre.temp
  349.     loop=loop+1
  350.    end
  351.    num2=random(1,tcount)
  352.    num3=random(1,pcount)
  353.    num4=random(1,dcount)
  354.    title=pt||" "||title.num2||" "||prep.num3||" "||dept.num4||"."
  355.    if left(title,1)=" " then title=right(title,length(title)-1)
  356.    call req_error("Your new job title: "||title)
  357.    done=req_tell("Care For A Promotion?")
  358. end
  359.  
  360. call remlib('PROJECT_REXX_PORT')
  361.  
  362. exit
  363.  
  364. /* Beware! MSP! */